I'm smarter than you.

I've decided that my kids must think I am a raging idiot. Really.

I tried to remember from my own childhood when I realized that my parents were smarter than me. I'm thinking it was right around the time I realized that the good Lord had blessed me with some common sense. Which was not that long ago.

So, for the next 18+ years I will stand with my hands on my hips, use my mommy voice, pretend I have eyes in the back of my head and give death looks with the real eyes in the front of my head. All while you act like you didn't hear what I said, try to hoodwink your brother out of Wii playing time because you think I won't notice, continue to push buttons on things when you have no idea what might explode if you persist just because you need to touch every button, and wad your face into the most foul positions because you think it will somehow let you get your way. And sometime during your mid-twenties it will occur to you that I am smarter than you. And always have been.

You may be able to grin and use those big brown eyes to elicit the "Oh, poor little orphan" response from other people. But I'm your mom. So while I love you dearly and will do anything in my power possible to give you the best life I can, that doesn't work on me.

Anymore.

Yes, I know you are only acting your age and I'm certain I'm only being paid back for acting like such a little turd as a child teenager. You keep acting as if I'm a dummy and I'll keep sharpening my Mommy skills. You did get a head start on me. I didn't know kids your age could be so sneaky. You may try to wear me down. But I am bigger than you. You can smile and make me laugh. And I won't forget that you've been sporting an attitude all day. You can ignore me. But I can ignore you. You can be super silly. And I can laugh loudly at you. You can be super annoying. And I can ignore you again. But I will win.

I love you to the ends of the earth. Remember I came 7,597 miles to get you.

And I will always be smarter than you.

EDITOR'S NOTE: We have very well behaved children. They do have their moments when they push limits.  Usually (and thankfully) when no one else is around. I do love them and would do anything humanly possibly for them. But I am still their Mommy. They will obey and respect us as their parents--all the time.  Mommy voice or not.  Yes, people...it's your job to make sure your kids are doing those things. Now. Go hug your kids.