A Toddler Dictionary.

Being a toddler is hard work.

There are choices and too many things that Mommy says I can't touch and nap times. Occasionally being a toddler can be dangerous to the emotional well-being of those around me.

So here's a glimpse of our week, via simple definitions.

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The Temper Tantrum: an exertion of will by a tiny human being due to loss of authority and the inability to control your own circumstances and emotions. Characterized by kicking and screaming. Can lead to parents making rash and uneducated decisions about how to make tiny individuals stop acting as if their appendages have just been chopped off with a red hot sword.

The Terrible Twos: an extended version of the temper tantrum that can last from 2 days to 2 years. Approximately. Can often reappear during early to mid teenage years. Characterized by periods of happiness and laughter (from child and/or parent) in between periods of wondering why you allowed your child out of bed this morning.

What do you mean I can't play with those pretty blue scissors you are using??

Are you 100% sure???

My day is ruined.  I CANNOT believe you won't let me use that thing with two sharp blades sticking out of it!  What could possibly go wrong??!!??  [huge, shuddering cry]

A Fit: a mini temper tantrum. Characterized by its short time frame and the ability to be redirected easily. If not contained and corrected, can easily turn into a temper tantrum.

The Flop: the beginning of a temper tantrum that results in body being thrown to the floor by self. Usually halted by the realization that things actually are going the way said tiny individual would like for them to go. Please ignore the flop, as acknowledgement results in escalation to a fit or temper tantrum. Also could be a warning sign of pending terrible twos.

The Pause:  that moment during the temper tantrum, a fit or the flop where said toddler will attempt to make eye contact to ensure you are watching.  Look away as quickly as possible because watching encourages tiny person to escalate.  Without your attention, a fit or the flop will sometimes diminish on it's own.  A pause during the temper tantrum is often what they call "the calm before the storm".  Run away.  Fast.

A flop with the pause.  To make sure I was paying attention to her display of displeasure with her current situation.  Which was me blowing my nose instead of continuing to walk down the hall.

The Hurt Feelings: what happens when a toddler feels he has been slighted and is too tired to launch a full temper tantrum. Characterized by real tears and the inability to be consoled. For hours. As with a fit, can easily escalate to a temper tantrum if not contained or a second wind is gained.

The Triggers: giving a toddler the wrong color cup, putting their socks on too early, walking the wrong way, looking at their toy with the wrong eye, washing their hair, cutting their food in the wrong size, offering the wrong temperature beverage, getting in the car, putting on a shirt, opening the door too fast, etc.  You get the point.  Basically everything.  Also being told no or being asked to follow a reasonable direction that larger human beings don't usually find offensive.

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Sam likely had already experienced the terrible twos before arriving to our home. At least that's how I'll interpret the laughter and warnings received from his caregivers at the time when I eagerly told them who we were there to pick up. "Ohhhh noooooo, Edaso!! He is bad, bad boy!" (Read with thick Ethiopian accent. And he wasn't "bad boy" just strong willed.) He had his moments once home, but he soon learned his way didn't always work out and we quickly moved past his two-year-old period of rebellion. (Although, now we are in his 7-year-old period of rebellion. And the only upside is he understands the words coming out of this hole in front of my head. Doesn't seem to help, but I least I can justify his punishment by the fact that I know he knows English now. Love that kid.)

Charlie is my sneaky, but obedient one. I have a feeling Charlie's two-year-old self rarely had time for something as foolish as a temper tantrum or a fit because he was too busy carefully calculating how to manipulate his neighbor out of their portion of injera without a soul funding out. Or building an entire village out of origami.

Then there was Ellie Kate....

At my house, we have currently entered a stage of terrible twos, characterized by frequent fits, the occasional flop and many hurt feelings. And unfortunately temper tantrums.

The onset was very quick, escalating to full blown terrible twos in a matter of just a few days.  As her parental units, we were quickly taken off guard as our sweet compliant baby made the transition to a bold and opinionated toddler, but have recovered nicely over the weekend. (Recovery included extended naps. For her and Mommy.)

If you've never seen 19 pounds of mad, I invite you over. Sometimes it's hard not to laugh.  Other times I just step over her and walk away. And then there was that time I carried her kicking and screaming out of a Kohl's because I wouldn't let her play with those oh-so-safe moving stairs.  (Note to self:  If you accidentally left the stroller at home, just abandon all plans and go home.  Don't even attempt to go in said store.)

We spent a few days this week engaged in Operation How-to-respond-when-I-don't-get-my-way. Let's just say it's still a work in progress, but we are catching on to the fact that flinging ourselves on the ground rarely works.

Happy lunchtime.  Although the moments prior to this included a fit because the microwave wasn't making her quesadilla fast enough. Stupid microwave. But stabbing her carrots into said quesadilla seemed to help the situation. I'm certain she couldn't possibly be cuter if she tried.  100%.

I told her I would win this battle.

It's kinda my job.  I'm the mom.

And the only benefit was her letting me snuggle her when she has the hurt feelings.

Sweet baby girl.

"Aaaaaa" is for airplane.

We are 10 weeks post activation and sister continues to rock her CIs and blow us all away at her progress!

Hoarding cups.

Here's what we are doing now:

She turns almost all of the time to noise, sounds in her environment or her name being called. The exception being if she's in a noisy environment or if she is preoccupied with another activity. You know, kinda like your husband who is in the middle of watching an Alabama football game... (Love you, Pookie.)

Here she is responding to her name, fake laughing, ignoring my requests for a wave, grinding her teeth (which she still does on a regular basis) and a tiny example of her "I'm frustrated" scream. She is totally into Legos, but she lives in a house full of them, so I can't blame her. Ignore the laundry basket on the table. She put it up there.

No magical words yet, but definitely imitating coughs, laughing and other random sounds like "say ahhhh!" when I try to get her to open up to brush those tiny teeth. She usually obliges by copying what I have done and the sound I made. During speech therapy the other day, she randomly picked up the airplane and flew it through the air, making the "aaaaaaaa" sound. Which was a huge deal, because we've only done that with her 47 million times! Repetition counts, my friend. Even though I'm ready to chunk that plane out the window...

We've added a few signs to our repertoire, mainly because the level of frustration with no communication skills was going through the roof! She has a very distinct, ear splitting scream when she wants something. We sometimes get off track, but I can usually encourage her to use a sign or take me to what she wants instead of screaming. (Her favorite is dragging me to the fridge!) The best is when she uses every sign she knows at the same time if I'm not moving fast enough to satisfy her. I imagine in her mind she thinks she is screaming at me!

She has learned to give hugs. Which we love, but once she starts hugging, everyone in the room gets hugs. Multiple times. Ironically, her first spontaneous hug was for her speech therapist, Mrs. Cheryl. Which I suppose is fitting.

She has always had a little hip-hop-skip dance move that she does when I sign for her to dance, but now that she can actually hear the music, she will randomly dance to the TV or radio on her own by adding little crazy arm motions to her moves. Sister has zero rhythm, but I can't blame her. She doesn't really have a great dancing model...

What happens when a 13-year-old gets a hold of EK's hair.

And just because I measured her the other day to help a friend compare sizes for her new daughter, she weighs 19 pounds (fully clothed!) and is 30.5 inches. That means squirt is still wearing a size 2 diaper and mainly 12 months--some 18 month--clothes (needs 18 months for pants, definitely) and a size 3 infant shoe! Yes, she's tiny, but we have gained 6 pounds and grown 3.5 inches since June!!

Below is the speech banana, that gives better idea of how loud sounds are, etc.  The yellow part shows where sounds that we use for speech are located.  EK is now hearing from her right ear at roughly 25 db. Although remember her little ears are only about 2 months old and she often doesn't know what to do with what she hears.  This means she can feasibly learn the speech sounds now.  We will continue to tweak her CI to make sure we are maximizing her hearing.  We go back to her audiologist on Tuesday.  I'm eager to see how she does in the sound booth.  Since last time she flat out refused to participate.

Not at all a toddler thing to do...

(For reference, without her ear, she's between 100-110 dbs.  Essentially nothing.)

I'm still holding out for her first word.  Kenny has taught her to imitate "mmmmmmm" so we have bets on what it will be...

(Mommy.)

Happy day, boys. Happy day.

Six years ago today, two little fellas showed up at an orphanage in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Without much info to go on, they were both given March 11th as their birthday.

People.

I have a 7 year old and an 11 year old.

What...??!!!? How...??!!?!

I know. I'm still struggling to wrap my mind around it. Doesn't seem possible. Read as: I can't possibly be 2 years away from having a teenager!!! (Where's my panic button??)

When we made the trip to Ethiopia to add these two to our family over four years ago, I was consumed with them. Just them.

How do I help them adjust? How do I help them learn English? How do I help them understand that this family is forever? How do I help them remember to flush the toilet? Heck, how do I get them to remember to actually go IN the toilet?? How do I get Sam to stop screaming for "dabo"? (That's bread, by the way and he's over it now.) How do I get Charlie to stop pushing every button he sees? How do I get Sam to take a nap? How do I get Charlie to think I'm hilarious and stop staring at me like I'm crazy...?

And how, oh how, do I ensure they keep their ridiculously cute Ethiopian accents??

We failed at the whole accent thing, but every once in a while I'll pick up on a little redneck mixed with Amharic.

And that makes me smile.

Because I was so focused on survival in the beginning, I overlooked a huge piece of the puzzle that made our family who it currently is. But more often lately, I think about our Ethiopia Mommy and wish I knew more about her. I know March 11th probably wasn't the day that she gave birth to the two that have been woven into the fabric of our family, but on that day, I have to wonder what she had planned for her sons, what she felt their future held, what she hoped they would grow up to be...

Although this woman has no name or face, she is a hero to me. She holds a special place in my heart although it's likely our paths will never cross. And although a huge deal, our sole common thread is motherhood to two handsome boys who are quickly growing into the young men I hope she would be proud of...

Happy Birthday, Charlie & Sam!!