Earned Love

Sam called me "Mommy" from day one, was giving out hugs by the end of week 1 and free kisses by the end of week 2. And like a parrot, will repeat "I love you" at any given time, although has started using it spontaneously and without prompting over the last couple of weeks. Makes me spontaneously smile!

He is two-years-old and at the ripe old age of two, it is just really easy to trust and love anyone who is meeting your needs. He is hungry--I provide banana. He has tears--I provide comfort. He is sleepy--I snuggle. He has a snotty nose--I am prepared with tissue. Pretty much instant love and trust given.

Not with Charlie. I was "Hey, You!" for about 3 weeks...at least until I just stopped responding unless he said "Mom". He has tolerated our hugs and kisses and tokens of love over the last several months and after a while stopped stiffening up like a mummy any time we touched him. Around month 2, he would receive and give a hug if you were coming or going.

We did teach the boys the sign for "I love you" pretty early on...it's something Kenny and I have always done, so we just passed it on to the boys. Both boys picked it up fast and use it when we flash the sign to them. (Sam did have a little trouble getting his fingers in the right position to begin with, which resulted in me getting flipped off a time or two.)

Last week, the love given over the last several months was finally reciprocated.

During our normal bedtime routine, which includes lots of "Goodnight's", "I love you's", "Don't get out of the bed's" and many kisses, I thought I got the remnants of a kiss. When I gave him a kiss again on the cheek, he returned the favor. Then he told Kenny "I love you" while he was getting tucked in by dad. All in one night! Thought it was just a fluke, but almost every night since then, the kisses and "I love you's" have returned... as well as big smiles and a few tears (those were from me)!

In a time span of less than a week, Charlie was sent away with two people he had never met, who spoke a language he didn't know and was put on a plane to fly literally half way around the world into a land he had only heard about. I can only imagine the struggles and thoughts he had as he entered this new family, received love from practical strangers and having to process all the new things around him. Who cares if I was meeting his needs? Understandably, love and trust didn't just fall into our laps as easily with Charlie. I didn't mind having to earn his love and trust. It makes it much more fun to give when it is received easily.

He is snuggled next to me on the couch now, watching a Christmas movie and asking a million questions about Santa and reindeer...

"Mommy, deer fly??" "Ummmmm....yes...?"

It's taken a while, but I think we've earned his love.