Wondering, Not Wandering

Kick back, grab your morning coffee, and let's read...this is part of a devotion I was reading this morning and I loved it so much, I wanted to share it. Excuse the sappy, emotional post, but even if you aren't dealing with these specific issues, this is a good reminder that our awesome God is in total control...whether we like to admit it or not!

"The Bible says that God knows the exact number of days in our lives and that He plans each day for us before we are born. He knows us intimately, long before our mothers were born or felt the first twinge of pregnancy. We see the linear progression of our lives. God sees the eternal past and future and knows how all of the events we face will fit together to accomplish His will.

Only God knows why your waiting to conceive [or adopt] is a necessary, critical part of His plan.

Because we can't see our situation through God's eternal perspective, we feel tempted to slide toward generalities. We simply want a child. We don't know what might lie in the balance of when we conceive [or adopt] and which child we are given, so we think we could get any child at any time in order to be fulfilled.

But right at this moment God is orchestrating so much more than your life. His care and control over the events of the world do not diminish in the slightest His care for you. Rather, He is moving the world together for the perfect time for each child to be born.

The Bible insists there is an ordained day for every baby to be born, and so it follows that there is an ordained day for every baby to be conceived. If you are waiting to become pregnant [or adopt], you have the assurance of knowing that God is not putting you off or ignoring your request or wasting time. If God has chosen to grant you children, He is even now moving you toward an exact day and time for you, or a birth mother, to conceive, and an exact day for this sweet baby to be born. It is hard to understand why we must wait for the appointed day when we feel we would be happy with any baby we could conceive [or adopt] between now and then. And it can confuse us to know whether or how we should pursue medical treatment, since God already has pre-ordained everything.

But we know only part of His plan for our lives; He reveals to us daily how we are to live in each moment. We are asked to entrust the whole of our lives--including this struggle--to Him. Because we know He plans each birth and life so carefully, we can take comfort in the knowledge that He is a God of specifics. We may be wondering about the road we're on, but we're not wandering on an aimless path. It may seem that time waiting is time wasted, but in truth, each day that passes brings us closer to the specific day that God may have appointed for our child to be born."

Some of you know our story; many of you, I'm sure, don't. In my effort to hopefully use this blog to encourage another, I'll divulge a little. At this point in our lives, we have not been able to have children biologically. But to clarify, adoption is not "second best" for us, rather "God's best" as we seek to start our family. God may choose to bless us with biological children in the future. He may continue to bless us with children through adoption. But for now, we wonder...is our child already conceived? Are they already born?!? Where are they? What are they doing? Are they safe? Do they feel loved?

And although I don't always claim it, I know that God doesn't have us just wandering on an aimless path! The wait is hard. It's frustrating. It doesn't always bring out the best in me. But...

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:16