Hard paperwork.

This post has been half written in my head for quite sometime.  But after several recent conversations with people, I thought I’d just throw it all out there.  

I’m gonna fill you guys in on a little something most of you don’t know.  

The program we are in with Lifeline Children’s Services is a Special Needs Program through China.  I know the term “special needs” gives some people the hibby jibbies, so I’m gonna educate you.  

What does that mean? 

Well, that means that our little girl from China will have some sort of medical or developmental special need.  It could be something mild.  It could be correctable.  Or it could be something major.  Or something that affects her for the rest of her life.  It could be any combination of those things.  Or it could be something that barely qualifies as a problem. 

But what really matters is that God has already chosen Ellie Kate for us.  He knows her needs and the path her life will take.  He knows what our little dysfunctional family can handle and what we can’t.   

One of the hardest things I ever had to do was fill out paperwork indicating which special needs we were open to.  I just kept thinking… “If I was pregnant, I would have no choice in this.  This really isn’t fair.” 

I’m gonna be real transparent here.  As we filled that paper out, I was having an inner struggle.  One side of me said to just mark “yes” to everything because that would kinda be like us having no choice in the matter.  But the fleshly, sinful side of me wanted to kick the other side’s butt and mark “no” because I didn’t want my little girl to have to go through life being picked on or with a disability that would hinder her.  And if you want to get real honest about it, there were a lot of things I (me…JANA!) didn’t want to have to deal with! 

In the end, we did our research, did some praying, lots of thinking and filled out the paper based on what we felt like our family could handle.

And then I sat.  And worried about it.  And prayed about it.  And worried some more. 

I mean, nobody WANTS for there to be something wrong with their child.  Yet, that’s what we had just done.  We had requested to adopt a child, who by the world’s standards would be less than perfect.

Until one day the Lord told me to cool my jets, He had it all under control.  Well, maybe not in those exact words, but you get the point.

Huge sigh.  Thank you, Jesus.  I needed that reminder.

I’ve worked with children with special needs most of my adult life.  I always knew in the back of my head somewhere that we would one day adopt a child with special needs.  It almost just seemed like the natural thing to do.  I have this background and this education, it would be silly to ignore it.  I’m not sure I had let Kenny in on that little nugget of truth until much later, but he is totally on board with me.

One of the reasons I haven’t told many people this info is because they tend to give you a pity reaction.  Or you get the “oh, that’s such a wonderful thing for you to do” reaction.  Neither of which I want. 

God doesn’t put parameters on caring only for the healthy orphans or only the super cute orphans.  The command was to care for the orphans.  All the orphans. 

This is how God has chosen to grow our family.  Regardless of those worldly standards, Ellie Kate will be perfect because she was chosen for our family.