Most of you know that I lost my precious little sister in a car accident almost two years ago. I don't talk about it much, but rest assured it's not because I don't think about her on a daily basis. Or don't have my moments of complete and total breakdown for no other reason than I just miss her. I often have to think really hard about whether or not that horrible weekend actually took place. And other times, everything I do in a day reminds me of something that happen that weekend, bringing me crashing down to the reality that she really is forever gone.
I can honestly say I was never mad at God for taking her. I will never understand why, seeing as 22 years was not nearly enough time to have her here, but I wasn't mad. To be completely transparent, what I did struggle with (and still do) is something as simple as going to church. Or listening to the radio. Or reading my Bible. You never realize how many songs and hymns talk about heaven or how many scriptures point back to our ultimate destination...until you would truly rather be there than here. Then it makes it really hard to sing about it.
I often have coversations with God about why we can't all just come to heaven. There's really no sense in us all being seperated from our little sisters. But I always come to the same conclusion. Or rather God directs me to the same conclusion. If He was ready for us, we'd be there.
Plain and simple. He obviously has more work for us here. Our jobs here are not complete. So while we know that we aren't not home yet, our world is full of people that don't know what their forever holds. I know where I belong and I can't wait to get there. Step up, Christians, do your job, tell everybody you know about Jesus so we can all go home!
Where we belong.
All I know is I'm not home yet,This is not where I belong,
Take this world and give me Jesus, This is not where I belong
3 comments:
Absolutely beautiful post full of so much emotion. Thank you for sharing and trusting us with your heart. We all have a final destination that is not of this earth and it is going to be more than we could ever imagine here on earth. To all those we have all lost, they are Home and will rejoice with us one day when we are joined with our Heavenly Father. Thank you again for sharing your heart.
Alissa
crying as I read this...I was listening to Pastor Chris from Church of the Highlands this weekend and he was talking about his Mother In Law who 48 years ago was given 6 weeks to live. She has been healed 6 times from different bouts with cancer and he said that we all have an appointment with God and nothing on this earth can change the day/time that our appointment is set. My Dad has just gone through a fight with colon cancer and it looks like he is all clear - praise the Lord. That said, the testimony of hearing Tammy's mom continually being healed because its not yet her appointment was encouraging, however it was so peaceful for me to think of the fact that the day that we do depart - whether its at 22 years old or 92 is because God has appointed it. I was kicking myself thinking how simple this truth was, but thinking of God having an appointment book, with my name on a specific day and time written in it was so comforting! Love you Jana!
Thanks girls! And love the "appointment" comparison. Just wish sometimes we could reschedule appointments! I've often thought about that...when Katie was born on December 9, 1987, God knew that on May 8, 2010, He would bring her back home, whether we were finished with her or not. He knew.
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