Multitasking is no longer in my vocabulary.

I love to multitask.  I used to be good at it. 

Although I've found as I've aged (I'm older than I look) that my multitasking skills are a little more ADD than normal. 

I can start a task, only to start another task, only to be interrupted by a child who has lost a lego or pooped their pants or needs to play a game of "Go Fish"...and then I forgot what I was doing.  See how that works?  Instant aging.  Multitasking skills to pot.

Last Friday night, Kenny took the big boys to soccer practice, leaving me with a few hours in the evening to knock out some chores with my little sidekick.  Laundry and cleaning the bathroom.  That was my goal for the evening.  (And a little playtime, but that's understood.)

Please don't be jealous that this is what I do on a Friday night.  I can barely stand the excitement myself.

While I was cleaning up from dinner, I had the brilliant idea to put EK in the tub while I cleaned the rest of the bathroom.  She loves playing in the water!  Entertains her for hours.  I only need a good 15 minutes to clean the rest of the bathroom, including mopping the floor...perfect plan.

Here's a run down of how the next 2 hours went:

• Collect cleaning supplies in the bathroom so I'm ready and can be efficient as possible with my time.
• Fetch dirty child from food crusted highchair.  You know, the food she was just playing with, not actually eating.
• Get dirty child situated with toys in tub.
• Begin cleaning.
• Remind EK with gentle tone and a sign to sit on her bottom in the tub.
• Receive phone call.
• Wreck on the way to soccer practice has road closed.  Boo.
• Remind EK with gentle tone and a sign to sit on her bottom in the tub.
• Return to bathroom cleaning.
• Receive phone call.
• Another wreck on alternate route has this road also closed. 
• Give Kenny directions for 3rd and only other alternate route to soccer fields.
• Physically sit EK down in the tub from her standing position.
• Text coaches wife to let her know boys will be late to practice.
• Return to bathroom cleaning.
• Use Mommy eyes to tell EK to sit on her bottom in the tub.
• Receive phone call.
• Coach needs to know what size jersey Sam registered for. 
• Return to bathroom cleaning.
• Fetch rubber ducky that has been tossed out of the tub.
• Receive phone call.
• Coach gave Sam's jersey to wrong kid.  Confirm size.
• Return to bathroom cleaning.
• Remind EK to sit on her bottom in the tub.
• Return to bathroom cleaning.
• Watch as EK pours entire cup of water onto the bathroom floor.
• Fetch towel.  Dry floor.
• Wonder if I will actually get bathroom cleaned before rest of family returns home.
• Return to bathroom cleaning.
• Comfort crying child who bumped her head because she slipped.  While standing in the tub.
• Return to bathroom cleaning.
• Rescue mermaid toy and starfish who narrowly missed a swim in the toilet.  Toddler has good aim.
• Wish it was bedtime.  For mommy.
• Return to bathroom cleaning.
• Wonder if I already cleaned the sink...  Because I can't remember.
• While contiplating sink cleanliness, toddler pours another cup of water on bathroom floor.
• Leave toddler alone in tub while fetching more towels.  Bad mommy.  Dry floor.
• Sit on bathroom floor and wonder if two full cups of water on half the bathroom floor count as mopping.  They were big cups of water...
• Return to bathroom cleaning.
• Catch toddler as she prepares to pour another cup of water on the floor.
• Decides it's time for toddler to have bath and get out.
• Realize no laundry has been done.  And now another load of wet towels has been created.
• Bathe slippery toddler who is mad her toys are gone.
• Diaper, lotion and clothe mad toddler.
• Mentally decide bathroom floor is probably clean enough.
• Bottle, rock and put toddler to bed.
• Return to bathroom, observing what's been cleaned.  Only the sink.
• Finish cleaning bathroom.  Minus the floor.  It looks fine.
• Decide a stout drink is necessary.  No Mt Dew.  A glass of chocolate milk will do.
• Welcome home dirty soccer players.  And all their dirty laundy.
• Watch as semi-clean bathroom returns to state of filth via yucky little boys.
• Make mental note to only clean bathroom at midnight while children are sleeping.  Then I know it will at least stay clean for roughly 6 hours.

At this point the bathroom had barely been cleaned, no laundry had been completed, but two more loads created and I just discovered the crusty highchair from dinner that I was going to clean right after I finished in the bathroom.

Two hours ago.

But now I've decided that my multitasking skills are only suffering because of the people that live here.  Not me.  It's clearly not my fault. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm writing my to-do list for tomorrow that I'm planning to only do a third of.

Just setting realistic goals, folks.